We bought a....car!

Wait, what?  A car?  I thought we were buying house?

It's been a long week to say the least.  Really, a long two weeks.  Two weeks ago Monday I went to the dentist and found out I had not one but, several cavities.  Not great news but, I could deal with it.  Then on Thursday, on my way to work, my car over heated.  Thankfully, I was close enough to the a mechanic that I could drive the car over.  So I waited around for a couple hours while they diagnosed my car.  They told me there was some gasket that had worn out and they could fix the over heating problem but, my sway bar was snapped in half.  Great, I knew that would be expensive.  I ended up waiting at the machanics until 1:30 for them to fix my car (mind you, I had taken my car over there at 7:45 that morning).  One $500 bill later, I was on my way to work.

Then this past Monday, Ryan called me at work to say that his car had overheated on his way to work!  Thankfully, he made it to work, but he had to get the car towed to the mechanic after work.  The mechanic called on Tuesday to let us know that the head gasket and something else was leaking and it would be $1500 to fix!  We had just, last month, spent about $500 on his car trying to fix it, so it really wasn't worth it anymore to keep throwing money at a car that was obviously on it's last legs. And honestly, I don't even think the car, broken or not, is even worth $1500.  So, we had to get another car. 

On top of all of this, I had gone to the dentist on Tuesday to get some of the cavities worked on, and was handed a bill for almost $400, even after the insurance had paid its part and, I had to come back for two more visits!

Let's just say I had a minor (okay, maybe major) break down on Tuesday morning while coming back from the dentist.  Why was everything going wrong?!  It felt like no matter what, we couldn't win. Why did both cars have to break down within in two weeks and one completely die?  And a why huge dentist bills on top of that?  Didn't God know that we were in the process of buying a house and, that in just a few days, we are going to be paying more than half our saving for the house?  We weren't going to have any money left!  It just didn't make any sense.

I was feeling very insecure.  I began to think about where I find my security and, I realized that the answer was money.  Money, not God.  Why was that?  I think because having money in our world, means you can take care of yourself.  It means that you can solve the problems that might arise in your life.  It means you can think you are self-sufficient and you don't need God to fix your problems.

Everything that had been happened during the past couple weeks made me think about story of Job.  Job had security, he had a big family, lots of servants and he was rich.  God allows Satan to take away everything from Job's life, his kids, his servants, his livestock, his tents, everything.  What was Job's response?

"Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head and fell on the ground and worshiped." 

Job 1:20.

Wait, what? He worshiped?  Job was still sad and broken from all the loss he had suffered but, even in that, he worshiped.  What had I been doing when it seemed like everything was crumbling down around me and nothing was going right?  I broke down.  I cried, I was sad and upset, not that these are inherently sinful emotions but, my response never turned to worship.  I think Job worshiped because despite of it all, he knew that God was still in control and that he was still soverign.  You can see Job's ultimate trust in God as you continue to read his story.  His friends come to morn with him and they tell him to curse God and die.  Even his wife tells him that but, Job never wavered from his trust in God.

God knows you intimately and that means he knows your heart.  I think God knew that my heart finds its security and comfort in money.  My heart finds comfort in having enough money saved up to feel comfortable and ready for anything that life can throw at me.   God desires that the hearts of his children are faithful only to him and, he knew the only way to get my heart back to him was to take away the thing I was placing my trust in instead of him. 

This is ending up to be a rather long post but I wanted to add one other thought.  I was reading a commentary on the book of Job and it pointed out that even after God had restored all that was taken away from Job, Job was never told why he had to experience all of the loss.  We as the reader see the whole story.  We see the conversations between God and Satan, but Job never knew.  Job didn't need a reason for why these terrible things had happened to him he just simply trusted that God hadn't abandoned him.  My prayer for myself is that I can have the faith of Job to just simple trust that no matter what God is in control and he will never leave or forsake me.