Nursery Reveal!

We are officially two weeks away from our due date! I thought it would be fun to share some pictures of the nursery.  Every time I go in there I change a little something here or there, but this is pretty much the finished product.  I love how it turned out!

Pregnancy After Miscarriage

 We found out we were pregnant again right after Thanksgiving.  We were hopeful but also terrified.  In the year that we had been trying to get pregnant we had already had two miscarriages.  We are now 17 weeks pregnant and each week has been a walk of faith.  Each week my heart has become more open to the fact that this pregnancy is healthy but I still have a silent screaming fear in the back of my heart that it all might slip away like it has before.  Each doctor's appointment, each person we tell the good news to, each milestone we hit feels like a tiny weight off my shoulders.

If you have had a miscarriage, I am sure you can relate.  I was so scared to tell anyone that we were pregnant.  It took me several weeks to call my OBGYN to set up an appointment.  When I finally did I demanded that I receive an ultrasound right away and not wait the usual 8-10 weeks.  I had my first ultrasound at 6 weeks and the doctor was optimistic but requested that I come in again in a week and a half.  The second ultrasound looked good and she had no worries, but I did.

Loss and Miscarriage(s)

Last January Ryan and I decided to start trying to have a baby.  Since my mom had trouble conceiving I was mentally preparing myself for a long road.  I fully expected it to take me a long time to conceive, and in fact was nervous that I might have trouble conceiving at all.  What I was not prepared for was actually being able to conceive rather easily, but not being able to carry my pregnancy full term.  The thought of having a miscarriage never really entered my mind, let alone having two miscarriages in the course of 6 months.

I stopped taking my birth control in late December.  When I hadn't had my period by mid-January I took a pregnancy test on a whim.  According to lots of I had done, online research it was supposed to take 3-4 months after stopping birth control to conceive  I truly didn't think I was pregnant, but I took the test anyway.  The second blue line showed up almost instantly!  I was stunned.  I told Ryan right away, and we spent that Saturday in a happy bliss.  On Sunday night I called my mom to tell her the news.  She, of course, was ecstatic.  We both talked about we couldn't believe it had happened so quickly.  Monday night I called my older sister to tell her the news because her baby shower was that weekend and I wanted to share with the family when we came into town for it.  Tuesday at work, I knew something was wrong.  By Tuesday night I was bleeding heavily and knew that I had miscarried.  To say I was totally heartbroken would be an understatement.

Why had I taken the pregnancy test at all?  Why hadn't God nudged me to wait a week, then it would have just seemed like I got my period, and I would have never known I was pregnant.  I would have missed out on a lot of pain had I just waited three days.  I was heartbroken and angry.